What Are YOU Waiting For?

IMGP3072

” . . . What then? Shall we sit idly down and say,

The night has come; it is no longer day??

The night hath not yet come; we are not quite

cut off from labor by the failing light.

Something remains for us to do or dare

(Even the oldest tree some fruit may bear) –

Not Oedipus Coloneus, or Greek Ode,

or tales of pilgrims that one morning rode 

out of the gateway of the Tabard Inn –

But other something, would we but begin.

For age is opportunity, no less

than youth itself, though in another dress,

And as the evening twilight fades away

the sky is filled with stars,

invisible by day.”

– Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, “Morituri Salutamos”,  1874

IMGP3191

This Time Last Year

IMGP2116

My DH and I were a few months away from celebrating 38 wonderful years of marriage. The children were grown and our lives had taken us to many places around the world, places I had never dreamed I would see, much less live in. We had recently moved to another country and were enjoying the adventure of getting settled. We were working on where to store Christmas items in our new apartment.

But I had other plans also and I knew they wouldn’t include him. I was going to walk the Camino Frances soon.

I didn’t know exactly when or how. I didn’t know exactly where. I especially didn’t know why.

I hadn’t made any transportation arrangements because I had no clue how to get from where I was to where I thought I might need to be. I didn’t believe in hiking poles – too dorky. I was a good (what’s good about it?) twenty pounds overweight and I’m being kind. I didn’t have hiking boots.

The only thing I had going for me was that I liked walking although I sometimes found it boring.

I had decided to walk the Camino Frances and I had broken the news to my DH just after Thanksgiving. Would he be OK with it? It would cost us money and time. Lots of time but I had no clue  how much.

Not even my children really knew what I was up to.

“Mom’s thinking about going for a long walk.” What did that mean???

You don’t choose the Camino. It chooses you. And I had been chosen. But try to explain that to people who want to know why you want to walk across the top of Spain.

The ancestry of the Camino Frances sits squarely on a pilgrimage. But I’d never been religious enough to feel drawn to religious sites. I’d never felt compelled to visit places noted for miracles. And my life was relatively happy – no need to do penance or suffer to set things straight.

I was an older woman, inactive for many, many years, suddenly possessed by an idea that no one I knew had ever done before or even heard of.

It was time to give this some serious thought.

I’m An Idiot But it Turns Out OK – Day 37 – San Mahmed to Ferreiros

IMGP4363

The albergue was deserted by the time I left.

My hand-washed clothes from the night before were still damp so I used the dryer for 20 minutes before I packed out. Most of the people had sent their bags ahead (yes, they transported their bags). A few were waiting for vans to get their bags before they headed out.

The dining room was empty – the hospitaleros were not there. But they left hot pots, toasters and coolers with items for breakfast such as cereal, coffee, and  pastry and pilgrims simply helped themselves. I had a simple breakfast while waiting for my clothes to dry and charging my phone and iPad.

The road was easy and flat and a short 3 kilometers to that final landmark city before the end, Sarria.

IMGP4364

Sarria is a little more than 100 kilometers from Santiago. Since one must have walked at least 100 kilometers from Santiago in order to earn a Campostella, Sarria is the place where you find an influx of pilgrims whose goal it is to get the piece of paper that proves they’ve been on a “pilgrimage.”   They start their Camino in Sarria, getting two stamps each day, and present it to the Pilgrim Office at the Cathedral in Santiago. Then they get their Campostella.

I have my guidebook with me and re-read the words of the author – “. . . remember that many of the new arrivals may be nervous starting out and the last thing such a person needs is aloofness built on a false sense of superiority. A loving pilgrim welcomes all they meet along the path – without judgement.”

IMGP4360

It is early morning and Sarria is just waking up. It is too early for me to stop for breakfast so I easily climb up, up, up, past the mural near the castle at the top. I drink in the sunshine and wish a sincere “Buen Camino” to the new pilgrims huffing their way up to the top of the hill.

And, then, as I gaze down at the city I have just passed through, relishing the view and the early start I had on the day, I get a sick, sinking feeling in my stomach.

I still have no cash. I had to use plastic the night before in order to stay at the albergue. I need to find a cash machine.

I ask a few locals briskly trotting to work where the nearest cash machine is and they point back down into the city.  Down, down.

Which Saint shall I thank for keeping me humble? I want to blame all of them. Couldn’t they have made me think of this 15 minutes earlier? This is going to cost me alot of time.

I have no choice but to head back down into the city. I run into many pilgrims heading up as I head down, some of them people I had briskly passed an hour earlier on the Camino. I have to keep asking locals for the nearest ATM. I feel like an idiot when the cab drivers point across the narrow street we are standing on and the bank is right in front of me. I am one of the first on line. But I am the only one with a backpack and hiking poles.

I fill up with enough cash to last to the next large town and retrace my steps up. This time I pass no one. All the morning pilgrims have gone. I am the last one.

However, I am jubilant to see my Camino companion, Christine, when I stop to get breakfast. She had gone the other way with the boys up the ridge. She said the views were great but the route was challenging. It was shorter than the way I had gone through Samos so they were quite a distance ahead of us, close to a day. The two routes had joined again at San Mahmed. She had slowed down and was now with me.

IMGP4372

If I hadn’t gone back for cash, I wouldn’t have run into her.

Sorry, saints. I should have trusted you.

We walk together the rest of the day. We pass the 100 kilometer marker, an important photo-op for pilgrims.

IMGP4375

A group of new pilgrims pass us as we walk up a wooded trail. They are family and friends from the U.S, Canada and Australia who are doing this as a reunion. They are chatting happily and loudly and rambling up the trail, toting tiny packs with just enough room for the paper map given them by their tour arranger. They carry bottles of water in their hands.

I am slowly going up the trail, which is much steeper to me than to them. I smile and wish them a “Buen Camino.” I realize I may be the first person to give them that particular Camino experience.

“Where did you start?” “How long have you been walking?” “Did you walk the whole way?” I don’t have to ask them these questions because I know what their answers would be. But they ask me and I answer amiably, remembering the author’s words. Their joy at being on the Camino is infectious.

However, they do catch me off guard when they ask, “Wow. Are you carrying everything in your backpack?”

Dear Reader, you have seen the photos. Does this look like a daypack to you?

IMGP3400

God bless them. They sent their “luggage” ahead because, they explained, they “didn’t have time.”

Christine and I get to the albergue, only to find it full. This is not good. We had forgotten that we would be meeting this problem from now on because of all the new pilgrims joining at Sarria.

Fortunately, we are among the first to arrive at the next albergue, which is clean, quiet and one of the ones operated by the municipality. There is no store to buy food, the only store in town having turned itself into a private albergue (the one that was already full). So we go to the bar next door and have a great meal. We catch up on e-mail, I catch up on blogging, and we have a quiet, restful night.

IMGP4382

I Don’t Have Paper But I Do Have Plastic! – Day 36 – Fonfria to San Mahmed

IMGP4313The morning is beautiful and we are rested. The albergue has been comfortable and I have been surrounded by friends.

Nevertheless, the journey is not over. I have miles and miles to go. So the four of us – myself, Christine, Juan Carlos and Andres – rise, have breakfast, and hit the road.

I feed off my companions’ energy and motivation. Dare I admit that I am . . . tired? You’d think that after walking 400 miles, that would be an obvious statement of fact. But I haven’t felt tired before. I am today simply tired of walking.

I don’t want to see any more old churches or old Roman roads. I’m tired of walking through abandoned villages. I’m tired of the endless green paths through the fields which were lovely at first, and now seem beautiful yet redundant.

IMGP4324

As it gets closer to summer, it gets hotter and hotter. Although we are in the wet part of Spain, we will see no more rain, just sunshine and more sunshine. I’m not complaining about the sun, Heaven knows, after all the mud weeks ago, but I am tired of the hot.

I’m still carrying my fleece and my long underwear pajama bottoms. I’m too close to the end to send them ahead and the weight gain wouldn’t be much.

The four of us continue for about eight kilometers. Then, when we hit Triacastela, we split up.

IMGP4335

For me, this is sad. We are very close to the end now, less than a week to Santiago, I expect. The route the boys and Christina will take has great views. That means it goes up to the ridge line. I don’t want to climb any more.

I will walk towards Samos, the town with the famous monastery. I might even  spend the night there.  It is a slightly longer route but stays flatter.

So it is time for a final good-bye to my friends – my Camino family.

We exchange cell phone numbers and promise to keep in touch. We will look for each other in Santiago and celebrate our arrivals, if we meet. We bid each other a “Buen Camino.” I am choked up as I watch them follow the path into the mountains. I doubt I’ll see them again.

Have I made a bad choice?

IMGP4340

I continue onto Samos and the town is just hitting siesta when I arrive so everything is closed. It is hot and blazingly sunny. I have run out of money, again. I check my meager finances and look for an ATM machine. When I find one, no surprise, it doesn’t have any cash. Once again, I’m stuck without euros.

IMGP4346

I go to a bar and the women welcome me as I get the only things I can afford for lunch, a cold beer and some toast. I decide that I shall take a siesta here. I can’t stay at the monastery now because I don’t have any money. I must continue on and hope I can find a place with a cash machine. One with cash.

I am at the bar for about an hour and not a car goes by. Some pilgrim on bicycles come through the town but, not finding anything open, they continue on their way. I decide to do something I’ve seen others do but I haven’t done myself – I call ahead and make a reservation at an albergue.

IMGP4354

I arrive at that albergue late. The albergue is well run by the family and they clearly take pride in their facility and their service. I try to explain that I have run out of euros, that the cash machine was empty, that I don’t have any money for the bed, etc, etc.

No problem, they say.  They take credit cards! So. for the first time on my journey, I pull out plastic and use it. Thank you , St. Julian, the card goes through.

I lay out my sleeping bag on a top bunk. I’m in the shower when the communal meal begins. I’m sorry to miss this multi-course meal since it was the reason I wanted to stay at this albergue. I don’t have any food on me and there’s no pilgrim kitchen. I hand wash my things, knowing that it is so late in the day that my clothes will not be dry in the morning.

Clean, with routine necessities taken care of, I wander and enjoy the sounds of pilgrims who have shared conversation over the communal dinner. I don’t know any of these people, however, and I haven’t eaten. I feel out of place and lonely. The family graciously asks if I’d like a bowl of soup which I gladly accept. For drink, I only need water and I get a pitcher-full.

That night, I climb onto the top bunk. I can hardly wait until the pitcher of water I had with dinner kicks in and I have to climb down in the middle of the night. The sun is going down outside but this is the new normal time to get to sleep. The room I’m in is surprisingly cramped. The family could get rid of one bunk bed and make the room comfortable. But I’m sure it’s a money thing – I can’t begin to imagine their business model.

As I sit up top in my bed, writing in my journal, I see it all. Old men parading around shirtless. People picking at their feet. Guys slapping lotion on their inner thighs. This will be one of the few nights I have trouble falling asleep because of people snoring.

And I still don’t have any money.